The Funniest Repairs And Complaints Received by Letting Agents from Tenants

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The Funny World of Property

Please send someone to raise my doorstep, it seems a little on the low side

(These are 100% Genuine and are taken from actual letters and comments on forms).

• I want repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

• I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

• Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my fence. Not only is this making a hell of a noise, but the fence is now sagging in the centre.

• This is to let you know there is a bad smell coming from the man next door.

• I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall

• I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the outside toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

• I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

• The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

• Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

• Would you please send a man to repair my spout, I am an old aged pensioner and need it straight away.

• I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5.30 his cock wakes me up and it’s getting too much. It’s alright when my husband is on day-shift, but when he’s on back-shifts or nights I get it several times a week from Mr. Docherty next door and at my age it’s too much.

• The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

• Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third so will you please send someone to do something about it.

• The toilet seat is cracked – where do I stand?

• I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.

• Please send a man with clean tools to finish the job and satisfy the wife.

• Can you send a joiner to the house. When the woman next door closed the door the other night, she pulled at my knob too hard and now it’s ready to fall off so I daren’t touch it.

• I have had the contractor down on the floor six times, but still have no satisfaction.

Merry Christmas and a very Prosperous New Year from Legal 4 Landlords